I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
