Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My penis needs a shock collar
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
