I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Found your dick twin last night
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize