Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
