I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
