The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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