He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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