No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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