That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
