I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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