you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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