He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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