boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She even gives head with a lisp.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
