Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
