Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
