Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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