If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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