but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
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i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
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I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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