I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
