Please, let me fuck your mom
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize