I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
