I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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