so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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