You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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