3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
