Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
