If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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