Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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