woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
