No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
