ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize