i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
