as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
