yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This is the high leading the old right now
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
