Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
