the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
