just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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