If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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