i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
