I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
