How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the condom got lost in my hair
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
