The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
