all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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