maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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