oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
