Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
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nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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