You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
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you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
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