What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just pee around me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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