opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
