I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
