Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
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Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
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The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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