So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
