I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
