Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
