it was like eating out sand paper
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
