I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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