i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
