remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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