Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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