I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
