so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
